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[Panterka]

Posh Fart

A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs.

Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it.

As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.

Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?"

He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is."


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[MissMiss]

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He take another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again he looks around and sees no one.

He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary."


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[Belenki]

"I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Services will be held Saturday for the deceased husband!


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[MrSenior]

SENIOR EXERCISE A friend just shared this AARP suggested exercise for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It's so easy, I thought I'd pass it on.

The article suggested doing it three times a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-pound potato sacks. Then use 50-pound potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.


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[AnimalGirl]

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He take another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again he looks around and sees no one.

He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary."


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[Mr. Bon08]

jejeje nice jokes!!!

i heard them but in spanish...
but ... i smile as ever!!!jejejejejejejeje!!!!

[the_hacker_666]

why all of u posted that in here?

That must be in "Off Topic" Forum... i think u should read the topic's name before posting like that...

thanks

[Anthrax]

You guys are too out of topic!
CLOSED!

en casos como este, reporten al moderador!